Source: Why Ex-Mormons Get So Much Pushback After Leaving | Exmormon Sheena Peterson Reacts! Channel: MormonNewsRoundup Published: May 27, 2026 | Archived: May 27, 2026

Video: Why Ex-Mormons Get So Much Pushback After Leaving | Exmormon Sheena Peterson Reacts!
Channel: MormonNewsRoundup
Published: May 27, 2026
Duration: 35:44
Views: 103
Category: Entertainment
Video ID: oSaukirJa-k

Description

In this video, I wanted to dive a little deeper into the kinds of responses people often give when they see someone leave the Mormon Church. We look at a lengthy social media post reacting to ex-Mormons and break down some of the key arguments, assumptions, and emotional appeals inside it.

Some parts may resonate with believing members. Other parts may feel deeply offensive, dismissive, or condescending to former members. My goal here is not just to mock the post, but to examine why these conversations become so emotionally charged in the first place.

This episode features commentary alongside Sheena Peterson — ex-Mormon, nurse, mother, and thoughtful voice in the post-Mormon community.

This one is a bit longer than usual, so feel free to skip around, watch at 2x speed, or come back later. Either way, I hope you get something valuable out of the discussion.

Original Video: What People Say About Mormons Who Leave 2024 https://tinyurl.com/4v6wjbud

Topics discussed include:

Why faithful members sometimes react strongly to people leaving Common stereotypes about ex-Mormons “You just wanted to sin” narratives Tone policing and spiritual condescension Faith crises and emotional complexity Online Mormon/ex-Mormon culture

#ExMormon #Mormon #LDS #FaithCrisis #PostMormon #MormonStories #Exmo #MormonChurch

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Tags

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Transcript — YouTube panel (human-authored)

0:00 Hey everyone, I just wanted to pop in this week and be able to record another thought that I had. It’s been a little bit. I’m in nursing school right now and so I had a couple of exams that I had to study for. So I haven’t been posting as frequently as I would like to, but I I want to try to make it in here once a week, at least for myself and for anybody else who who gets value out of this. So, I just had this thought that was kind of inspired by different people posting on social media and after posting my video, I received so many warm and loving um responses from everybody whether in and out of the church. Um I mentioned that in my last video which was really wonderful and it’s really nice to see like who’s there and who’s supportive. There were a lot of people who didn’t even comment that I know I know had thoughts about it but didn’t even comment didn’t even give it a thumbs up didn’t give in anything. I think it’s been about a week at this point which is fine. People don’t have to do that but it’s also really obvious

1:06 when they share their thoughts outside of your post in their own separate posts. I saw one by somebody that I know who was expressing their sadness and grief over seeing so many people leave the church and I was thinking, “Oh my gosh.” Like part of me is trying to give them some grace because I’m like I I used to do the exact same thing. I used to think the exact same thing. It was so sad whenever anybody left. And um and I used to think more than anything the hangup that I realized I was on was that oh my gosh, look at this. This prophecy is being fulfilled. People are apostatizing and it’s coming to pass.

1:49 And that then verified in my mind that the prophet of the church really is the prophet and you know all the prophets before him. And and that was really like my one thing that I when I started thinking about it I was like why why do I think this about people? And it’s really it really came down to I was just scared into thinking in any other way. It’s interesting when we act out of fear because we literally just we we cling even harder to that comfort blanket and to what we know. I think I had mentioned in my last video. I’m not sure that I really did anybody any favors by posting my thoughts as far as people in the church, but it was really nice to hear from people who had left who felt validation from that. And that made me feel good that I was able to provide any value for them cuz it was it was very nerve-wracking. I just kind of wanted to touch on a couple of things that this person had written. Um, and it’s a very

2:45 lengthy post that I’m not going to read all the way through, but basically this person starts out by saying it’s really painful to watch so many friends and family in our great nation walk away from the church and his gospel. He says he’s sharing the following that he knows to be true and that the teachings of the gospel, an example of Jesus Christ are offer profound wisdom and guidance and a fulfilling life and meaningful life. I just had to stop right there for a second because all of that language assumes that everyone else outside of the Mormon church’s gospel does not have a fulfilling life that they don’t or that they don’t have full fulfillment.

3:25 And this is one of the things that I don’t love about the Mormon church and the Mormon gospel. It’s like, well, we’re the true church. It’s it’s like it’s interesting because in public settings, the members are always like, “Oh, no. We just want to add value to the gospel. We just want to add value to Jesus Christ’s, you know, teachings in the Bible. We’re just adding unto it.”

3:49 And I remember that being a response that I used to give. I was like, “Oh, that’s such a smart way of putting it.” But when you think about it, it’s actually incredibly sneaky that you would have to find ways to dance around a topic to not offend other people of other faiths just because you think that you are the only true church because behind closed doors every Sunday and once a month, every every month, everybody’s getting up and echo chambering and saying the same thing over and over, which is that they know that this is the one and only true church. Well, if you’re repeating that and you’ve been raised in that and like this person has and I know that for a fact that they have, then your your mindset goes into I have the truth and you just walked away from that and now you don’t have the truth anymore. And obviously the issues with you because you’re confused and this is the most fulfilling and rewarding your life would

4:40 ever get. So it’s like they can’t mentally comprehend why anybody would walk away. But it assumes that like me as somebody who walked away that I didn’t just walk away from the Mormon church. I also walked away from Jesus Christ is what this language is assuming. Or that anyone who walks away from the Mormon church is walking away from Jesus Christ. And that is not the case at all. Some people do. Some people don’t believe in deity anymore. Some people don’t believe in the Savior anymore after they walk away. The thing that I can’t stand about this is going back to what I was just saying a few minutes ago. That continued process of of the echo chamber is what instills this into people’s minds in the church.

5:25 And then that language ends up coming out in their writings or in the way that they talk to people regardless of whether they realize it or not. And so the rest of us are looking at it going, “Yeah, I don’t feel like my life is not fulfilled just because I’m not living the Mormon church’s exact doctrine.” Like, I have valid reasons. And the thing is is that the difference between you and I and so many others is that I actually do have two perspectives because I’ve done the research on both sides. and you haven’t because you are committed to being completely and abundantly obedient to a bunch of old men who say don’t look at that other information. And so I just this is so annoying. It doesn’t even begin to express. It’s annoying and frustrating because it’s like you’re not actually listening to anybody’s, you know, explanations then about why they felt bad cuz that that’s not where your brain goes. like you’re really not trained

6:25 into caring about that. It’s like we’re trained to care in a Christlike way as as committed members of the church to be like, “Oh yeah, I really love you, but you’re wrong.” You know, and that’s really the that’s really the thought that trumps any other thoughts that you may have underneath that that main one. And it’s really it’s really the one that most members I find. And and I again like that used to be me as well. I used to be the one that was like, “Oh, I feel really bad for them.” And now that makes me sick to think that I ever did that and ever felt that, you know, because that’s not what those people need.

7:02 That’s not what they needed. They didn’t need me to feel bad for them. They just needed to be able to express themselves and finally say like, you know, I’m never going to get a chance to do this at the pulpit. I’m never going to get a chance to tell anybody in my ward in in a setting like that or in any other way that these are my reasons. And the thing is is that even if they were to do that, everybody in in sitting there in church would again just cling even harder to that comfort blanket of what they’ve always known and what they’ve always been told is true. what they’ve always repeated is true because they were always told it was true and have never looked anywhere else to learn anything else because they’ve always assumed and have been told and have repeated that the true church is the Mormon church.

7:50 There is nothing that they compare it to because they think it’s uncomparable. that this kind of language I think is a bit offensive because other people who read this who are part of other churches or who even maybe don’t believe like they’re going to look at this and go you think that I’m immoral now or that I don’t have a fulfilling life because I lack what the Mormon church is offering like you’re acting like the Mormon church is it? And that’s the thing though is that they do think that it is it. And that’s why they that’s why this kind of these thoughts like come out through the language. they think that they’re doing something good. And the funny thing is too is that it is an echo chamber. So all the people who agree with this aren’t going to recognize those those nuances in there or they’re not even that nuanced. But they’re not going to recognize that. They’re just going to be like, “Yes, exactly. That’s exactly right.” But he’s saying, you know, the closer we align our lives with the gospel and teachings of Jesus, the more abundant and enriched our lives

8:44 will become. At the core of the gospel, the message of love and compassion. Except that that’s not what people who walk away are feeling when you post stuff like this. because it doesn’t feel like love. It feels like you’re pitying people for making a decision that has been weighing on their minds. Like you, you know, it it presupposes almost an idea that like it wasn’t even thought through. Like we were just so so deceived or so gullible to buy into whatever it was that was out there that was contradicting the gospel that we just didn’t even really think it through. And we were just we’re so weak and deceivable and gullible. And it that is I find offensive because I’m like no I was raised in the church. I was that person just like just like you just like so many others raised in the church in this echo chamber and I did obey and not look at any of the anti-information.

9:36 It’s all it’s all a political game for the people at the top. They absolutely use political measures to ensure that people remain in the church. It drives me crazy. It just drives me crazy that people won’t recognize this or see this or they refuse to. And I’m like, don’t don’t preach to me and act like my life isn’t worth living like yours is anymore. Don’t act like you have a more rewarding and fulfilling life than I do.

10:03 You know nothing. You know nothing about me. You know nothing about my life. You won’t even consider my reasons. You’re going to just go over all the predetermined responses given to you at church in your head and be like, “Oh, she has an issue with polygamy. Well, um, here are all the reasons why it was okay, which I can now debunk like every single one of those if you want to debate me on that.

10:28 There’s nothing okay about it. Like, it says the gospel encourages forgiveness. Moreover, the gospel encourages forgiveness, reconciliation, offering a pathway to healing and inner peace by letting go of grudges and resentment. I find that ironic. I’m not saying that this person is like holding grudges against me or anybody for leaving, but it almost seems like there almost is like this pain of like how could you do this where it’s like well for what like all honestly like how does it even directly affect you when you think about it you know like me living my life and the thing is is that it goes back to this teaching and and I know where their minds are going cuz it was the same for me. It goes back to this teaching like you know people like John Delin have brought this up a lot on their podcast where it’s like they see you as like an empty seat in heaven now. They’re like, “Oh, I’m not ever going to see you again.” And the weird thing is is that

11:21 it t like it’s it’s astounding how long it took me to realize like how awful that doctrine was that it divides people like that. It’s like if you don’t stick with the program, you’re not going to make it. And and also there’s a prophecy anyway that says there’s going to be an enormous apostatizing. there’s gonna be a huge apostasy and people are gonna walk away and leave the church with that like only like you know many are called and few are chosen and so only like only so many people are going to make it into heaven and the thing is is it’s like those people in the church who keep clinging they’re like it’s going to be me I’m going to make it but then it’s like okay well now you’re part of the heaven VIP club now what now what you forget about everybody that you cared about like and I think that’s one of the reasons sometimes that and I meant really had this happen, at least not so far. Um, but I honestly think it’s one of the reasons sometimes that you will see when people walk away that there

12:16 will be acquaintances, friends, and even family members who cut ties with them or distance themselves, which is just the worst because it’s not Christlike in any way. And then those people feel even more shamed and left out in the cold and even more lonely after they’ve already been going through the anguish and torment and loneliness internally by themselves while they sorted through all this, which none of any of those people in the church have any idea about because they haven’t gone through it.

12:48 And it’s disgusting. It’s like they do it because they’re like, “Well, I’m not going to see you in heaven anyway.” And whether people realize that that’s what happens or not, I honestly think that it is one of the reasons that that a lot of relationships become strained after people leave the church. Some people aren’t like that at all in the church. Like they are loving. They really are Christlike. They really do show forth that love. I’m I do not want to be unfair in any way. And like most of the people that I’ve known really are like that. There have been some where it’s like it’s very obvious that it’s like, well, I’m just not even going to comment. I’m not going to really talk to you that much anymore. And you know, and it’s sad because it’s like we used to be friends like, you know, or or we were a lot closer friends before or something.

13:31 Um, and I’m not saying that about this person. Um, this person I do consider a friend. I still consider them a friend. Um, and I mean, I would be surprised if if this person, you know, didn’t still consider me a friend, but um, and I’m not trying to in any way shame them. It’s just I don’t think that they realize the way their language comes across and how that it just continues to stab an already wounded person because the way that I feel walking away from the church is I do feel wounded and it’s a wound that I’ve had to basically cut into myself and reopen and re-examine over and over again. And now I’m finally at the point where I’m starting to allow it to heal just a little bit. But it’s an incredibly lonely process. And that’s not because I made the decision to turn away from Christ. It’s not because I made the decision to have a less fulfilling, less Christian centered, less moral life. I made the decision based on my own core personal feelings and beliefs, which when you try to

14:38 express those feelings and beliefs, it’s ironic that so many people in the church will discount them because literally everything that is taught in the church is based on a feeling or belief. That’s literally like they don’t teach you critical thinking. They just teach you to listen and obey and then echo chamber. And so people echo chamber by sitting in class every Sunday and in sacrament meeting every Sunday and repeating the same messages over and over and over and saying that they know that it’s true and there’s nothing different. There’s nothing for a church that believes so so strongly in personal progress as human beings which I mean that that’s correct. We as human beings do have the innate desire and motivation and drive to progress. Yet, I don’t really feel there’s a whole lot of progression there that happens. Um, because it really is. It’s just the same messages in a loop. Then the echo chamber comes in where people are like, I had an experience and this is what I

15:37 felt and that totally proves that what you’re saying is true. And people are like, oh my gosh, that’s amazing. That does prove what we’re saying is true. And that’s what happens over and over and over. There’s no critical thought applied to that. So then when I come in or anybody like me comes in or or comes out I guess saying hey I learned this thing about the church that wasn’t even anti-doctrine. You know polygamy has always been in the history and I learned it like over half my life ago or about half my life ago and it’s bothered me for half my life and has tormented me and I’ve tried to push it away or forget about it or all the things. It’s like, well, that doesn’t really matter because you just gave up your salvation. And honestly, like, you should have just gotten on board with it. You should have had more faith. The problem’s with you.

16:28 And so, it’s like this continued like reinforcing behavior of no, you’re the problem, not the prophet. It can’t ever be the leadership also because we covenanted in the temple to never speak ill of those in charge. Talk about an enormous recipe for disaster and a huge red flag. I I will never understand how that escaped me. Although I do have to say when I first went through the temple and I heard that I did find that odd and it like it it did kind of give me a sinking feeling in my stomach because I I remember thinking like we’re not allowed to say anything bad. Like what does that even mean? Like define bad like I disagree with them on something.

17:10 Like if I disagree with one of the prophets like I’m I’m breaking my covenants. if I if I say I don’t like what they said or if I say I think that they’re wrong, like I don’t what does that mean? And I feel like that’s also, you know, a topic that people will in the church will kind of define in their own way. And that’s also kind of a danger because it’s like they make it vague enough like they do with everything else in the gospel library and in the church they give you information on. They make it vague enough so that you will fill in the blanks. That’s how it works. So then you fill in the blanks and um and that’s why you have people in the church who are are a lot more stoic um and staunch in their belief and other people who are a lot more laidback and relaxed about it and who are like I think I’m going to be fine. And I mean I was getting to that point where I was just like is every little thing that I do really going to

18:05 keep me out of heaven? Like if I you know curse and I say the f word and like I just I don’t know. Like I really I have a really hard time believing that like if someone like Mother Teresa for instance who did a lot of wonderful things for people in her life and and lived a life of service and love that in the next life if she you know said the f-word or said a said some sort of expletive or you know made a bad comment about somebody that you know she’s Jesus is going to be like yeah you did really really great. I’m looking at your life right here. amazing, amazing work, but I’m sorry. I’m gonna have to turn you away because you used some bad words and you said something bad about somebody and I, you know, it just seems so extreme when I think about it. And that’s why like the Mormon idea of repentance where it’s like you’re just constantly repenting over every little \[ \_\_ \] thing. It drives me crazy. And it was it was destroying my mental health because I was always on my own

19:01 back. I was always on my own back about every little thing. And it made me more stressed out, which made my family more stressed out because I was just like, well, there’s something wrong with me and I can’t stop and I can’t get better. And I was just spiraling and and you know, that was another aspect to it that I just I couldn’t take anymore. And that was really not like one of my main reasons, but it was something that I realized kind of more retrospectively after walking away that I was like, “Wow, like I am so much more relaxed now and feel I feel like I can actually breathe because I don’t feel like I have this constant expectation put upon me that I have to constantly be just like keeping track of all these little things that I do that are wrong according to church standards and church policy and church doctrine or however any of those are distinguished. Um, a lot of them I at this point don’t even know anymore.

19:58 Um, the lines are very fine, but it just I got to a point where I was like, I I can’t even believe like how much stress that was putting on me. And I had been going to church my whole life saying like, “Oh, I’m so glad I have the church because of how much better it makes me feel.” Well, I didn’t know what I was talking about because I’d never been out of the church before. So, I never tried it any other way. And that’s the problem that I have with posts like these from people who are lifers like I was because they literally don’t know anything else.

20:27 You are only speaking to an incredibly biased perspective that you have never checked against anything else. That is something you have to understand. It doesn’t matter how many times you say you know something. I can say I know a lot of things and have them not be true, but I might believe the hell out of what I’m saying. Like that doesn’t make something true. It just means that the people surrounding you in in your echo chamber are going to say the same exact things. They’re just going to continue to reaffirm that and be like, “I know it, too.” You know, and it it gives you this satisfaction, you know, it releases some endorphins or or dopamine or something that gives you like the satisfaction. So, when this person states in conclusion, the closer we stay to the gospel and the teachings of Jesus, the richer and more fulfilling our lives become. um by embracing love, compassion, forgiveness, service,

21:24 individuals can cultivate meaningful relationships, experience inner peace, blah blah blah. Again, he’s just reiterating like the same thing over and over between all these different paragraphs, which is that the gospel is the answer. The Mormon gospel about Jesus Christ is the answer and no other there are no other true answers out there. And yeah, again, it’s so close-minded and so closed off to think that you have all of the answers. And as far as experiencing inner peace goes, that wasn’t my experience. I have more inner peace now than I did as a member of the Mormon church. Like I I can literally say that all day long, though, and people will not listen to me. They will not believe me. And they will look at me as somebody who is an empty seat in heaven who has been so gullible and stupid and ridiculous to be so deceived by the teachings of men and by secularism and and by, you know, the adversaries. WS

22:20 like that that is how I’m perceived by people like this and they will not look at their own comments as being something that puts other people in an other category like I’m the special and I have the truth and here’s what you need to know if you want to be a special too but the rest of you are all others. It’s offensive. It’s like you honestly think the rest of us out here aren’t living as fulfilling and rewarding lives and it’s icky icky language that they don’t realize that they’re saying. Somebody I did appreciate at the bottom said the Mormon church doesn’t hold a monopoly for good people, values, and truth. And all I can say is amen to that. No, you do not hold all of the knowledge, all of the values, all of the morals, and all of the happiness. I that that’s literally one of the teachings in the church is that once you have the truth, if you walk away from it, like all of your sins come back upon you, you will be, you know, you’re in a lot of trouble at that point. Like you’re not going to make it to heaven unless you repent and

23:23 come back to the fold because they they view themselves as being the people of Jesus Christ. Like that is his fold. Those are that that’s his flock and you just left the flock. So any other church that you go to is not going to be good enough. um any other way that you live your life is not going to be good enough because you once had the knowledge and then you decided to actively walk away from it and your reasons are never going to be good enough. You just made up you made up whatever reasons you had to. You came up with whatever excuses you had to. You got offended by something like and that one I feel like is something that people will use a lot cuz it’s like well look yeah you did you got offended over you know the doctrine of polygamy and over the sexism. It’s like, okay, well, there’s a difference between being offended over something stupid in the church, like, you know, like the example that’s been given in the past by other leaders in the church was that there was

24:16 some, you know, person in church history where Joseph Smith spelled their name wrong or said their name wrong or something stupid like that and they left the church over that. I remember actually looking into that one a little bit and hearing that the true story was really not that simplistic. And that’s really actually more the thing I was focused on was that that we just aren’t given all the information. We aren’t given informed consent. I was raised in the church, but I didn’t find out about polygamy until way after I was baptized.

24:45 You know, it was what, nine years after I was I was baptized into the church. And it was like I remember thinking like, oh no, like I’m accountable for all this now and I have to live this in order to be happy. But you know, it took me 18 years to realize that why would I think that this is what my savior wants for me. Why would I ever think that in order to be happy, I would have to make myself miserable and do something that I feel to my core is fundamentally wrong and abhorentt and evil. Because that is how I view so many of the practices that Joseph Smith had. they really were evil and he took full advantage of his position and oh it is no different no different than what you see with Warren Jeffs with Rasputin if you look into some of these cult leaders and people who claimed to be either prophets or like some semblance of the Messiah they used that for their advantage they used that to get what they wanted and people in the church will not see that. They

25:54 refuse to see that because that is considered anti- Mormon doctrine. And I can’t even stress enough how frustrating it is that we as active lifers and even as active converts in the church have the audacity. I had the audacity in the past to look at people and not even hear what they were saying. I would listen and not hear what they were saying at all. I was missing the mark. like like Christ says in the New Testament, you know, about like the Pharisees and Sadducees and the people who don’t really want to see what he’s saying, they miss the mark. You you can lay it out in plain English all day long and they will not listen to you cuz they’re they have to be able to justify that they have the truth. And also what that really comes down to is their own fear that what they’ve invested in their whole lives and what they’ve known their whole lives, like what would they do without it? And and that’s what they don’t understand about when people like me do come out and express reasoning and

26:56 express pain and anguish. I don’t think that they understand that that’s where it’s coming from. It’s not coming from a place of I walked away and now I’m immediately miserable cuz I walked away from the light. Like people aren’t stupid, you know? Like if you did have something that was making you crazy happy, which is the claim of the church that it will make you so happy, you’re you’re going to go through hard times and trials. They they have to cover both sides of the you know the argument on that. They have to cover their bases and make sure that you know like oh but also if you are in the church like you might not be happy sometimes that’s not that’s not because you’re not in the right church. It’s or living the right gospel or the truth like it’s because the Lord will test you and try like there’s always all of that. But it just it ultimately like it does not it does not matter what you say because people need to be able to justify that what they have and what they’re clinging to so

27:50 hard because it’s all they know. Like they have to be able to justify that because it’s scary without it. It is literally their comfort blanket. The thing is is I can really compare this kind of a relationship, this unhealthy relationship with blind obedience to an old man who sits at the top of the church and lives a really \[ \_\_ \] cushy lifestyle off of the church. Um, I can really sorry kids, but what I was saying was I can really attest to the fact that like this is in in ways comparable to abusive relationships and I’m not trying to take that to an extreme. When you’ve been raised with a parent who is behaving in a certain way or treating you in a certain way and you don’t really know anything else, you might have some intuition deep down that might nag at you, but you may not that may not come out for quite a while. And especially when you’re really small and little and impressionable as a child.

28:48 And I’m not trying to compare this to like sexual abuse in any way. Like I would never disrespect anybody who’s been through rape or molestation or anything like that. This is not even at the same level. But in the mental and emotional sense, it is similar. And I do feel like I can compare that just from my own personal experience with trauma. It is incredibly incredibly similar. The reason for that I say that too is because often times people who who are emotionally and mentally abusive like they can they will also lie to make sure that you stay compliant. They will lie to make sure that you are obedient to them. Not only are they requiring that you exercise blind faith in them, but they’re also lying. They’re also just withholding information so that you only know so much that you think that the blind faith that you have is actually real faith because you’re like, “Oh, these are all good things.” And I’m not trying to take anything away from the Mormon church.

29:43 There are a lot of really beautiful ideas and things there that I am glad that I was raised with. You really screw yourself over when you’re withholding all this fundamental information about what actually happened in history and how those characters who are supposed to be prophets and in direct communion with God, like you really screw yourself over with that. And honestly, like even without knowing all that stuff, I think that I eventually would have come to this conclusion anyway just because of polygamy. Like I and because of the withholding of the priesthood from from blacks like it just that it never made sense to me. I was like I’m sorry. And the the answers I was given especially with like the withholding of priesthood which now the answer has changed since I was a kid. But the answer used to be you know like God does things in his own time and he has his own reasons for it.

30:38 And even when I was very young, I remember my dad telling me that the reason behind that was because they were descendants of Ham and he was cursed with a skin of or no, he was he was cursed because he married like an Egyptian who was of color or something. And I was I was like I just I guess I don’t understand like why that was bad for him to marry her. Like I don’t get it, you know? And it really just came down to like this color of skin \[ \_\_ \] where I was like, “Okay, so that’s racism though. I don’t like how else would you spin that like you can’t spin it any other way. And then I just remember thinking well maybe he was just wrong about his reasoning and I just remember being told like well God does things in his own time. That was the new message. And now the message that I remember hearing during like in between conference sessions was we don’t know why God did that. We just don’t even

31:26 know. And I’m going it it’s the same same response with hey yeah we don’t pray to a heavenly mother and we don’t know why. I don’t know how much more blind you could be to just listen to that and be like, “Oh, I’m okay with it. I I’m not okay with it.” And also, we do know plenty about what happened with polygamy. Although, I have too many things to say about the discrepancies and the withholding of incredibly valuable information in the gospel library about polygamy and the history of the church in general that I just that’s that’s a whole other video. But they always try to, like I said, they withhold information. They do these mental gymnastics. They they allow people to do mental gymnastics and fill in those blanks where they’ve been purposefully vague and um have given just barely an answer or really a lot of non-answers so that people will just fill that in in their minds. And and they they know that people will do that because they don’t want to they’re too

32:28 scared. They’re too scared to do anything else. And I used to be that person. And the funny thing is too is like this person who wrote this on social media, I mean, I don’t know, maybe this person will be in the church for the rest of their life. Um, because they’re they’re that committed. Eventually, you might get to a point where some of those things that were nagging at you that weren’t as loud or as strong before, they eventually come up to the surface and you can’t stop that. And that is also very similar to trauma. And I I say this from a perspective of like little tea trauma where when you’ve been through something like that, you can try to forget or push things down as much as you want and eventually your mind is going to go full force on you and push it all the way to the surface and you then you have to deal with it. You don’t really have much of a choice at that point unless you want to keep fighting it and you’re just going to make yourself miserable doing

33:25 that. But I think it is interesting. I used to feel like I was as committed as that person for like most of my life. I felt like that. And so you just never know. You never know when it is or what it is that is going to finally wake you up. And I’m saying this knowing that anybody who watches this who is a committed member, all they’re going to hear from me out of that was like, you never know when the adversary is going to to strike. You never know when you’re going to be weak enough for the adversary to strike and get you out of the church. So anyway, that wasn’t my experience. I am a lot happier now.

34:04 Nobody’s really going to to hear that who’s a member. But for those who who aren’t or who have left, I hope you found validation and anything that I’m saying. I got so much validation from going online through this lonely lonely process um and hearing other people’s stories and being able to relate to them and I wanted to be able to do that for other people because there needs to be a community where people can turn to um after walking away from their other community cuz that’s another painful part. It’s like, well, I don’t want to leave friends behind, but also I just don’t feel you don’t feel comfortable there anymore. Even though you maintain connections, you maintain friendships, I still have, you know, people that I know that I see all the time who are, you know, in the church and I love them. So, I’m not trying to to say that once you stop going that that’s just you, you know, creating a division or separation.

34:58 It’s just I understand where you’re coming from. when you decide to walk away, you go, “Well, I’m not going to go back on Sundays either.” Um, most people don’t. Some people continue to go every Sunday. I tried that for a little bit. I couldn’t handle it. I just couldn’t handle it. So, and it wasn’t because of the membership. It’s because of what everyone believes without knowing the the truth. So, anyway, this was a really long video. If you made it through, good for you. But thank you for tuning in and I hope you return for the next thought that I have and hopefully I’ll make it a hell of a lot more succinct and short.

35:37 Anyway, thanks for watching. It’s been unsilent and I want it to stay that